I often think I have so much to say. A voice to be heard. Some sort of wisdom to add to this world. Then I took a break from it all, facebook and Twitter that is—once I returned I realized I had nothing brilliant to say. All the wisdom seemed to have dissipated the moment I deleted the apps from my phone.
It has been a long three months since. Still haven’t found my voice. Find that my wittiest moments are in the silence that is rarely found in my home. So what gives? Then I had this “aahh ha” moment as it’s called (or at least I think it is?) There are so many voices in this world—vying for my attention, your attention, and anyone who is willing to listen; pumping information, statics, belief paradigms, and guilt that seems to trickle in from not being the person who seems to have it all together. In that moment my head seemed to be spinning in circles who will my children truly listen to? Will it be me, the cooler mom next door, or the friends who say I am too old to truly understand…who will be the voices they listen to?
Being a parent is a daunting task—no manual, no experience needed yet it seems more than an entry level position. So I sit and realize being consumed by the Grace of God is seriously the only thing that will keep me from feeling any more insure of parent, women, wife and all other roles I fill. Finding my rest and safety in Him will give me the voice I am to have. Maybe my voice and my wisdom isn’t meant to go beyond my family, maybe it is. Either way in order to not get consumed by human natures desire to be the “next big thing” I need to humbly find myself surrender to my Saviors’ feet—basking in His grace and unconditional love waiting for Him to speak yet ! Bringing my children to these very moments so that they can grow up realizing it was never about their intelligence, beauty, athletic ability, or their musical giftedness. It is simply about our Savoir and learning His voice—so when He speaks we know it is Him.