More than JUST a reason for this season

I am sitting here listening to “Oh the glory of it all” by the David Crowder Band and I am overwhelmed by the reality of what Christmas means.  It is more than a just a holiday—it’s in fact the greatest gift ever given.  Sounds so cliché because it has been so commercialized, but it’s the truth.  The glory of it all is that a redemptive Savior was born so that we will never be the same.   If we don’t stop to do more than just think of why we celebrate Christmas we miss the point.  

I have been beyond blessed by this song.  I have sung it before, many times actually; but this past Sunday our Youth band did it as a special during our Christmas service.  Since then I haven’t gotten it out of my head….”oh the glory of it all, He came here for the rescue of us all that we may live.”  As I sit I think about God’s redemption plan to save us not just from an eternity in hell but eternal separation from Him.

I encourage you not to lose sight the glory of this season.  It’s truly is a celebration of a new life that was born to be the Savior for us all.  He is not a distant God, but one whose love cannot be wrapped in a box, explained by the simplicity of our minds or ever fully understood.  By the truth is He is the ONLY True Living God—“Oh the glory of it all, everything has changed, we will never be the same” because of the gift of life given for us Jesus Christ.  More than just a reason for this season.

What will it take?

 Have you ever wondered what it was going to take?  What its going to take to make this year “the year”, what it’s going to take to be the ideal weight, what it’s going to take to use what you have, for the purpose you were designed for?  See I have this thing and it’s not the thing I have been looking for.  Its this thing that I don’t have a “thing” which I accelerate at.  I often feel like I’ve yet to identify the thing that makes me me.  If I honestly wrote the words and thoughts that have been crowded my mind at night—some might be mortified.  We have all had those thoughts that you can barely mutter to admit, even to those closest to you.  The intent and purpose of this isn’t to get people to encourage me and speak words simply to “pep me up” 

 

But I wonder what will it take?  When will I discover “my thing”?  As I read others blogs and see how people seemingly have found their “thing” I am left puzzled wondering…maybe my thing is not having a thing.  Huh, hard one to swallow.  What will it take for me to be beyond okay with not having a “thing” and being comfortable in my own skin…the tattered and already worn out skin.  

So the truth comes out!

After a long few months of postpartum depression I have figured out my triggers....PMS. It's amazing how much a womans body goes through to basically calibrate back to your "normal" self. But what is really is your normal self after 3 kids. Between motherhood, spousery (my new word), and trying to maintain some normalcy of self--the idea's I use to once hold as normal have quickly faded. Don't get me wrong as many times as I find myself wanting to rip out my hair at moments I wouldnt trade my four, two, or six month old in the old normal, but getting use to the new normal can be a challenge at times.

As I prepare for bed I prepare with an empty home. Well not completely empty my baby I is sleeping comfortably in our room. So here is to a good nights rest and many new"normal"challenges ahead.

Me.

I always seem to wait to long

Well time flies by way to fast. There have been a few things on my mind that I am going to chat about today. I say chat as if I actually talking to someone. :) Anyways, I have this theory, which of course is one of many, but I always say moms don't get more than one day off. And it always holds true in my situation. Friday I started to feel yucky and by Friday night I was in bad shape, but still had to take care of Samantha because she was up crying & screaming. So by 5:45 am and being up for like 3 hours we finally got to sleep. But lo and behold I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a truck and like I didn't know which way was up! My mom was already here graciously to help me. Anyways after a full day of resting on Saturday I was back to being mom and Pastor by Sunday afternoon and still not feeling 100%. To making a full course meal Monday evening. All I could do was laugh.

Well yesterday Jay wasn't feeling well and by the evening was going out of commission. Samantha started a fever and by midnight was up screaming. She then proceed to think it was morning time and like she wanted to play. I decided to embrace the moment and enjoy her. She can move stars with her eyes and smile. Needless to say I was woken up by her screaming and saying ouch, thinking Jay may have swine flu, and realizing I was in over my head. By 7 am I was feeding one baby, calling doctors offices to get appointments, calling my mom to come in, father in law saying Jay wasnt coming into work and I'd be late, washed bottles and got Isaac stuff ready and Micah wanting me to just hang with him. Once my mom got here I was able to go into full gear. By 11:30 I had done a full days work and thought how the heck do single moms do this.

There are moments I feel guilty for not holding Isaac as much as I should and rushing through life. Moments I feel guilty like I am shafting Micah & Samantha for time they need by working, but in the end I can only do my best. I survived the day and was even able to hang out with some friends for dinner, but would have never been able to get it done without my mom. And I should mentioned this is the second time in the last month that Jay has gotten more than one day of rest when not feeling well. :)

What more can I say.

There are days that I have went through the whole day and at the end of the day I wonder what really happened today. I am a mom of 3 kids under the age of 5, I work pretty much full time with my husband and live every day differently than the one before.

I have started this blog simply to document my tears, fears and triumphs as a parent. I think my experiences can ring truth and pull at the strings of most mothers. While my life situations are different there is one common thread - our children who are at the heart of most of what we do. This blog will be an honest one. True to who I am and nothing less. You will find errors in my grammar, parenting, and life choices - BUT if it was any other way it wouldn't be me~ Jesus, my husband, and children are my life

My hope is that as I blog you will be able to identify with my tears, fears, & triumphs and in that find that there is hope and light at the end whatever season you are in.

Me.